We’re all oblivious to something in our lives at any given time. Usually in hindsight – if we bother to look back – we can see it. But how do we do it in the present moment? Are we not capable of seeing it, is it some sort of denial, or are we just not versed in how to see it? How do we start to see what we’re currently not seeing?
Practically speaking, when we focus on something in front of us, we can’t see what’s behind us. We weren’t born with eyes in the back of our heads for a reason, right? However, we do sometimes need to know what’s going on behind us, and we can utilize our senses in order to do so, whether we turn around and literally look or just hone in with general awareness.
But in other situations, we have a feeling we’re missing something; we just don’t know what or where that something is. So how do we know what the right questions are to ask and/or where to look for the answers? Should we stay put and wait for them to come to us or should we go out looking for them?
Often, just talking with someone else is enough to widen our perspective and see something we hadn’t before. But sometimes the problem is that we don’t want to see the other side because we’re hyper-focused on one extreme. For instance, we may choose to not see someone else’s side of things because we’re too wrapped up in our own suffering. We might also be ignoring the big picture because we’ve created a habit of vacillating between two extremes. For example, we might not see that a relationship is unfulfilling because we’ve become too accustomed to swinging directly from misery to bliss, and vice versa.
The problem is that in preferring one specific feeling or bouncing between two extreme ones, we’re ignoring the balancing of our human processes and the work it takes to keep finding healthy middle ground. It takes constant awareness and energy to be flexible in this way, and many of us aren’t accustomed to living like this. But by shedding light on our unconscious patterns, we can free up the trapped energies and utilize them to create more efficient and pleasant ways of living.
Watch for part II – where we elaborate further on ‘What We’re Missing’ – to come~