Without going into too much detail – causing us all more angst than necessary – things haven’t been working so well for me these days. You know: computer, internet, software and platform stuff; trying to get my Real ID, a new social security card, even renewing my driver’s license… and things I don’t even know the words for. I would like to leave it all behind, but well, most of us are living in this strange, often confusing world. On the same boat together but in rocky waters.
I do the best I can with all of this because I feel a great sense of responsibility. In every aspect of my life. (Maybe ask my therapist about this). But what would I rather be doing? I ask myself this often. Working at a Farmer’s Market or delivering flowers; designing dresses or decorating homes; cooking and organizing; connecting with friends and family; making spice blends and tending to my plants; loving my husband and my cat (without the current stressors of life rearing it’s stubborn head). Comfort.
We don’t even have an Alexa and I am not that active on social media, yet Google AND Facebook seem to know what I said to someone the night before. [No, I don’t need to buy this or that from you].
It can be stressful and frustrating. Again, partially because I’m not so tech savvy. And then we have Covid. And most of my friends and family aren’t willing to see Tom and I right now (households as well are divided). Anyway, I would really prefer, for now, just to sit by the fire with a cup of tea and write. Sleep, write, sleep, listen to music, cook a cozy dinner. Yet, there is money needing to be made and rent needing to be paid, and things needing to be “handled” (even if it takes months to get it done).
While I’ve never been all that much of a ‘phone’ person, I now find myself reaching out to people at unexpected times and for unexpected reasons. Much of the time, I find a friendly voice on the other side of the line – whether they need me or I need them, or both. Those connections made are heartwarming and comforting.
If anything, these challenging times have changed me in some positive ways: I am learning how to reach out more, as well as learning that I really do believe in – and need – the comfort of others. But I am also learning that solitude – when necessary – can at times be the best medicine. Oh, and laughter, of course.
My best advice to myself and others: Know what you feel you need and do it for yourself whenever you can! Self care is especially important right now; as well as compassion for others. But that doesn’t mean you have to save the world. A lot of things that have been happening in the world break my heart, yet if I can’t do anything about them I have to learn the art of letting go. It is a bittersweet pill to swallow… So maybe just do little things – and embrace your efforts. We could all use some more peace of mind. Let’s give it to ourselves, and then to each other.
